Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
