Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
