please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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