hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
