So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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