If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
