I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
