Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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