Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
