Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
