Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
