Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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