If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
