ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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