me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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