i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
