I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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