So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The ass gains better be worth it
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