I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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