Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
His nipple licking is glorious
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