I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
