I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize