You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think my vagina is haunted
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize