I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I have aggressive nipples.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
