No, drunk sperm still make babies.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
