It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
