She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
