Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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