Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
