butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My hand turned me down
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
