She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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