4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
