WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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