I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
