Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
