called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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