mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
