Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
