I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
