I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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