you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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