either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
