"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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