So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
