Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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