Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
