Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
