I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
