it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
