when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
