You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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