she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
