Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
