i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
