you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think I am morally bankrupt
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
