i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
