I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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