I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
